I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
