Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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