the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone came in the potted fern
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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