It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I am midnight drunk by noon
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
