I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
