Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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