I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Randomize
