i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
