Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
