He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
