yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
