i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Randomize
