He kissed a someone with a penis
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
