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• (305): View more from Florida

  your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise

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• (954): View more from Florida

  you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

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• (817): View more from Texas

  He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round

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• (530): View more from California

  tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner

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• (408): View more from California

  Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time

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• (516): View more from New York

  I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?

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• (850): View more from Florida

  We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.

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• (714): View more from California

  Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.

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