I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
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