He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
