I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
