i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
