Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
