the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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