we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
