I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
