please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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