They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
