man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
