You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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