Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
