no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize