yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
