Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
