redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
