My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
