Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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