If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
