god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
