I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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