Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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