i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
