why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
