i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
