Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
