You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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