Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
