i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
