then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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