hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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