: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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