Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
