out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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