I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
