you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
